♥️ Everything Is Okay
A letter on acceptance (letter 240)
I invite you to press play and hear me reading my letter this week above.
Sawadee ka fellow learn-it-all 👋
Greetings from Chiang Rai 🇹🇭
This is my view while marching in a parade next to my fellow Thai teachers because it’s Sport week. This means 11 schools across Thailand competed against each other in football (soccer), volleyball, basketball, and sepak takraw (an old Southeast Asian sport that blends football and volleyball).
Sport week has also meant my classes are canceled the week before midterms. It also means that T-Pop music blasting from 5:30-7 AM as an alarm on the horns and squealing pubescent girls cheering and whistles blowing all hours of daylight.
Anywho, a tsunami of zest came over me. On a call with my friend yesterday, I realized I haven’t been feeling like myself without being as creative. Then I discovered this community for my digital notebook called a Supernote, and someone named Elle posted this video. It inspired me to create this linked reflection recap based on the icons I’ve been drawing on my student’s dream job worksheets for grading.
I’m feeling creative as heck! What a beautiful feeling this is.
On a different note, I haven’t felt inspired much to read or write, so this week, I’ll share something I wrote over a month ago and have been rereading whenever I’m low.
Now, let’s dive into letter 240 from a learn-it-all. Enjoy!
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❓Question to think about
How can I be accepting of myself?
(below is the longest PS I’ve ever written on the back of my letter from my past self)
🖊️Writing
Everything is okay.
Friday October 25th, 2024
12:25 pm on a StarLux plane
Sipping disgusting black tea
Sitting next to a baby named Zeus with a stupendously stiff neck
My 24th hour of transit from Seattle to Taipei to Bangkok
About to touch down in Thailand. For the first time.
PS - It’s okay.
It’s okay if the road has been bumpy– it’ll smooth over time.
It’s okay if you have no desire to travel and leave Chiang Rai.
It’s okay if you cannot wait to get out and leave.
It’s okay if you are still illiterate in Thai; it’s a tricky language with 44 consonants and 34 vowels.
It’s okay if you don’t like being embarrassed and failing constantly at ordering food.
It’s okay if you have diarrhea.
It’s okay if your tongue feels torched by a fire-breathing dragon.
It’s okay if you’re afraid to run alone.
It’s okay if you haven’t found a swimming pool.
It’s okay if you haven’t gone hiking yet; you’ve never hiked where snakes or stray dogs live.
It’s okay if you’re a little plumper–that’s just more Jen you can love.
It’s okay to miss family in Hawaii and Michigan.
It’s okay if you crave comfort foods or attention from people.
It’s okay if loved ones don’t call you back in this different timezone.
It’s okay if they don’t get you.
It’s okay if you haven’t found a friend to be yourself around; they’re out there.
It’s okay that you haven’t found your forever person.
It’s okay to shoot your shot and miss; at least you showed up and took action–that’s better than not trying at all.
It’s okay if you’ve been going on Instagram, Twitter or Hinge to distract yourself.
It’s okay if your book doesn’t become an Amazon bestseller.
It’s okay if it does and changes nothing.
It’s okay to fear death and want to maximize each moment.
It’s okay to love Grandma Jen and want to sleep long and do less to rest.
Jen– you have a radiant life force that yearns to shine and ripple into the waters of others. Welcome whatever comes in this season. Delay the judgment. Notice where you are in this moment and how you’re connected to it. What are you sensing?
Keep sailing where the wind fills your sails.
It’s all okay. I accept you as you are.
I love you so much, 🩷
Lil J
🔎 Ten Life Observations
Waking up with red marks on my knuckles from punching at Muay Thai
Surviving a spontaneous blood test my first time at the hospital for my work visa
getting chicken skin and saltwater all over my face as I watch Moana Two at the cinema
The chilling feeling of an ice pack on my shins after my long run
The warmth of feeling seen when discovering the nerds like me in the Supernote journaling community
Tears running down my cheeks as I ate part of a papaya salad while watching football. That one tiny red pepper did me over.
drenching my whole shirt with sweat dripping down my back on a walk and talk around downtown
The contentment of confirming my booking for a grass hut alone over my holiday break that includes eggs for breakfast and a hammock
Being a passenger princess on my roommate’s bright orange motorbike and noticing a cake shop and houses I never have before as a driver
giddy joy of meeting my Dutch cousin over video call for the first time and a slobbery smooch from his brother Harry (a golden doggy).
🎧Listening
Laughing in the Morning by it’s me.
Unlike every other song I’ve ever shared in this personal writing project of mine the past 4 years or so, there’s no words to this song. It makes me feel uplifted though and I thought maybe it could do the same for you.
🔍Word to define
Acceptance (n.): the action or process of being received as adequate or suitable
Ex: Expressing acceptance of the reality of my life has lead to the most healthy outlook to cultivate trust, confidence and affimration of my existence.
🌟Quote to inspire
“Life is in the transitions. We can’t ignore these central times of life; we can’t wish or will them away. We have to accept them, name them, mark them, share them, and eventually convert them into fuel for remaking our life stories.”
– William James, "Father of American psychology”
📸Photos of the Week
One more shot of students getting ready to march in the parade. They woke at 1AM to get their costumes and makeup ready!
I ran on the Kok river for the first time for my long run on Sunday. I was blessed with the compionship of cows grazing in the tall grass and the scents of farmland with it.
🙏Shoutouts
to my Spotify Daylist for surfacing this gem of a song that I listen to in the office with all the noise and chaos around me
To my Muay Thai trainer Eck who I am slowly getting more comfortable kicking and punching each week in the gym
I appreciate you reading this!
If ideas resonate, I’d love you to press the heart button, leave a comment, reply to this email, or reach me at vermetjl@gmail.com.
Let’s keep marching on in this beautiful thing that is called life <3
Keep on learning 😁
Jen
PS - in case you missed last week’s letter, I wrote about 🐘 Novelty November in Thailand
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The poem resonates as a fellow traveler! Thank you for sharing Jen!!
As I read your "It's okay" statements, I felt my body relax more deeply.
Do you have monkeys in your area? Besides snakes, another thing to be conscious of is hiking where there are monkeys. Some can be quite aggressive.
I could relate to your observation about the tiny pepper. One time, I was eating this stir-fried spinach dish in a restaurant in Thailand. My mom made a similar dish, and I was really enjoying it. Little did I know that this version had green chili peppers that blended in with the spinach. My mouth was on fire, and my lips were so puffy!
I'm enjoying your letters, Jen. I also love seeing your name in Thai.