🌱 Essence Over Excess

Too many things limit how I can be. I don't need these things. (Letter 202)

Aloha fellow learn-it-all 👋

Greetings from Honolulu, Hawaii ☀️

A big win for me this week is my standing desk. I negotiated the price down 75%. I’m embarrassed I didn’t buy one sooner because my quality of life at my computer has now improved drastically. Where else could I change 20% to improve 80% of life?

In other news, I’ve been trying a lot of new things in the past week: a new face wash, sailing on a new boat, signing a client for a new project, a new transition coach, playing in a nine-hour volleyball tournament, joining a writing group, a running club, a coworking group, and a road bike gang, and still trying to join an open-water swim group.

Gee whiz, I love to try things! The zest it brings me.

I’ve been contemplating whether I try too many new things. What is the best balance between learning and new things? OR is my overthinking mind making a problem out of a non-problem?

Anywho, I’m going to write a piece on these questions; if you are interested in sharing your thoughts on these questions, I welcome you to chime in and respond to this email. I’ve opened my calendar here if you’d like to chat.

Here we go. Let’s dive right into letter 202 from a learn-it-all. Enjoy!😊

---

If you are new here or missed last week's edition, you can catch up on the past letters here. If you are reading this for the first time, I’d love you to sign up below to join the other learn-it-alls:

---

❓Question to think about

What do I need in my life vs. how do I want to be?

~~~

This week, the writing I share is a wee bit different.

It’s a list of things I want to embody in my life that I am prompting myself to redefine. Sure, words have fixed meanings in Webster’s 1913 dictionary, and then there are the layers of how society defines concepts, which leads to other conclusions.

I share this list as a model for inspiration for you to redefine your own aspiring ways of being.

~~~

🖊️Writing

Too many things limit how I can be. 

🚘 On Physical Things

I don’t need a glamorous vacation to relax; an afternoon nap, a walk without my phone, or a steamy hot shower will do.

I don’t need luxury to feel pleasure; the simple delight of a perfectly fried egg at lunchtime pleases me.

I don’t need a TV to be entertained; I enjoy listening to my friend Tom crack jokes that make me grin like a Cheshire cat.

I don’t need to spend money to have fun; playing games and bumping balls over a net is a hoot and a half.

I don’t need to travel to be adventurous; the journeys I take, whether on foot or through pages of a book,  infuse my life with just the right dash of novelty.

I don’t need a car to go places; carpooling is cool, too.

🥂 On Substances

I don’t need alcohol to have courage; instead, I have a pep talk with myself, analyzing how I’d rather risk rejection than regret the inaction of holding my tongue.

I don’t need weed to be cozy, euphoric, and present in my body; a lit grapefruit lychee candle at night, swaddled in a fuzzy blanket with a foot massage, does the job.

I don’t need caffeine to wake up; could a morning stroll as the sun perks up be enough? Indeed, it will do.

🧘🏻‍♀️ On Mindfulness

I don’t need a therapist to feel emotionally in touch; a journal and pen work, too. 

No Zen center is required for meditation; just me, a cushion, and the wall before me—it’s more than enough.

Who says yoga needs a subscription? Leaning into a down dog on my mat in the living room works wonders.

💼 On Career

I don’t need to be competitive to be ambitious; instead, focusing my zesty energy into a deep desire to achieve something and see my project through will do. 

I don’t need social media to have a personal brand; how about I authentically interact with others daily with how I move through life?

I don’t need to bend over backward to prove my worth; it's not the flawless resume that secures the job but the authenticity and personal rapport that shine through.

Success isn't about residing in a spacious fortress built from a six-figure income; it's found in the joy of pursuing passions and the richness of my relationships.

🩻 On Health 

I don’t need to conform to being skinny to feel beautiful, desirable, or youthful; instead, slipping into my long silk skirt that cascades shimmeringly over my legs allows me to joyfully skip barefoot across the plush grass, feeling utterly free and vibrant.

I don't require a race penciled in to challenge myself, get sweaty, and stay fit; finding joy in morning runs of the wee hours, setting personal bests, and pushing my limits on bike climbs to see how far I can push myself is my true test.

I don’t need a ruthless diet to feel healthy; I can eat arugula because I enjoy how it nourishes me.

🫂 On Relations

I don't need a full social calendar to feel valued; I often find the most value in unplanned days baking banana bread, crafting bracelets in bed, and listening to John Mayer albums.

I don’t need labels in my bio to feel understood; sharing my truth and being heard works too. 

I don’t need a boyfriend to be intimate; vulnerable conversations with friends and noticing breakthrough moments offer profound closeness and understanding.

I don’t need to be certain of my beliefs to seek a life partner; embracing openness and growth alongside someone willing to explore and evolve with me is the journey I choose. 

I don’t need to be bashful about expressing my desires; I have a voice and free will and permit myself when I wish to do something.

I don’t have to be selfless to be loved. By balancing my affection for others with self-care and setting healthy boundaries, I can nurture loving relationships that cherish mutual respect, trust, and radical acceptance.

when self-care night turns into a teeth brushing party

🪄 Intangibles

I don’t need to be a professional singer to revel in the joy of singing; whether I'm humming tunes or belting out songs in the shower, it reminds me that my voice, in its purest form, holds as much right to be heard as any artist on Spotify.

I don’t need knowledge to be well-versed in life; the wisdom gained from personal trials and tribulations offers a depth of understanding that surpasses formal schooling.

I don’t need to be an expert to teach; sharing knowledge from personal experiences and continuous learning can inspire and enlighten others just as much.

I don’t need to plan out life to be happy; I can be right where my feet are today and trust that I’ll do the same tomorrow.  

I don’t need to consume to create. I don’t need to read a boatload of books or take all the classes to express from the well of my imagination, stories of my past, or the beginningless nature around me in this moment.  I possess all I need within. I am ready as I am.

Too many things limit how I can be. 

I don't need these things. 

Essence over excess.

👀 Writing behind the scenes

In the spirit of a recent chat I had with my new Norwegian snail-mail fanatic friend

Carina

, during which we agreed that we like to see behind-the-scenes creations, I’m going to first share a picture of one of the first drafts of this piece.

🎧Listening

“Deeper Well” by Kacey Musgraves

So I'm gettin' rid of the habits that I feel
Are real good at wastin' my time
No regrets, baby, I just think that maybe
It's natural when things lose their shine
So other things can glow
I've gotten older now, I know
How to take care of myself
I found a deeper well
Mm

When I was growing up
We had what we needed, shoes on our feet
But the world was as flat as a plate
And that's okay

The things I was taught only took me so far
Had to figure the rest out myself
And then I found
I found a deeper well

🔍Word to define

Masticate: to chew

To grind or crush with, or as with, the teeth and prepare for swallowing and digestion of food

Ex: when I was a wee one my mom would masticate pills hidden into my sandwich that I was too afraid to swallow.

🌟Quote to inspire

"We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all that we need to make us happy is something to be enthusiastic about." — Charles Kingsley, priest and novelist

📸Photo of the Week

Beside me here after biking 14 miles is my new friend Emma, who biked across the state of Ohio with her dad a few years ago. How inspiring is that?! What a legend!

🙏Shoutouts

• to the long ~3-hour run I went on 3 weeks ago that sparked a line to write this piece. All it take is a sentence to start.

• To my friend Hannah for hearing early versions of this piece when it was a mere entry I wrote in my journal.

• To the in-person writing group I just joined and edited my writing much more than usual.

• to my meetup with

  James Bailey
  . I appreciate you reaching out and all the stories and perspectives we had to exchange!

  

---

I appreciate you reading this!

If ideas resonate, I’d love it if you could press the heart button, leave a comment, reply to this email, or reach me at vermetjl@gmail.com. If you forget who I am, I welcome you to my online home.

Keep on learning 😁

Mahalo 🌺

Jen

PS - in case you missed last week, I shared a poem on how Friendship means to Forgive.

PPS- my throat is feeling a bit nasally today, so I wasn’t feeling up for a voiceover this edition, but I’ll plan to be back recording next week :)

If you’re reading this because someone shared this newsletter with you, welcome! I’d love it if you signed up: