What Wired You?

On the stories that shaped us before we knew it (letter 306)

Hello fellow learn-it-all 👋 Greetings from Boca Raton, Florida ☀️ I’m heading to meditate with Michael Singer this weekend and perhaps finally finish my year 30 & 2025 annual reflection. I’m excited :) Now, let’s dive into letter 306 from a learn-it-all. Enjoy!

—-

❓Question to think about

What stories from childhood wired us as adults?

screenshot of a scuba diving video in Nusa Penida, Indonesia (May 2023)

🖊️Writing

I’ve been taking unplugged walks on the beach lately. No podcast. No playlist. Just sand in my toes. Shiny smooth shells I hunted in my hands, and humming then singing whatever comes out of my mouth.

Last week, something came out of my mouth that surprised me. A song. Then another. Then I realized I was full-on performing Little Mermaid’s Part of Your World to the Atlantic Ocean, word for word, note for note, completely unselfconscious. Passersby would smile.

I’ve known that song for about as long as I knew how to speak and sing. So most of my whole life. I didn’t have to think about it. It just lives in me. In seventh grade, for my music class lip-sync assignment, I dressed up as Aerial, and that was my song. Mrs. Chrisner was pleased.

A few weeks ago, I first watched the 1998 Nora Ephron film You’ve Got Mail. There’s a scene where the small bookstore owner Kathleen Kelly, played by Meg Ryan, says that “When you read a book as a child, it becomes a part of your identity in a way that no other reading in your whole life does.”

I love this idea. But I didn’t really read as a kid. Movies were easier for me. Plus they were how my family relaxed together, how I absorbed stories, how the world made more sense to me. (I’d later learn at ago 20 I’m dyslexic, which explains a lot.) So similar to Kathleen Kelly’s character about how childhood stories wire us, then for me, it wasn’t books. It was movies.

And the my main obsession among them: The Little Mermaid.

I rewatched it recently. Leaked a lot of saltwater through most of it. Sang every word.

And somewhere between Ariel longing for a world she’d never touched and Sebastian pleading with her to stay where she was safe, I started to wonder:

did this movie make me who I am? How would my life look if I never consumed this movie?

Would I still have a hunger to learn about other worlds and be a student of life? Would I still willingly trade comfort for curiosity? There is this quiet, constant whisper that there’s something just beyond what I can see that I’m supposed to go find. To go explore.

There’s actually neuroscience behind this wondering in this 2020 Hechinger Report. Researchers describe childhood and adolescence as a sensitive period. It’s a window when the brain is especially open to being shaped by what it encounters. The stories children absorb build neural pathways. They wire people for what they’ll find beautiful, what they’ll long for, and what they’ll invest their adult lives chasing… like understanding different cultures and ways of living.

Which makes me think, perhaps Kathleen Kelly’s observation about books is actually about something bigger. It’s not about the medium. It’s about the timing. Whatever gets in during that window, whether it be a book, movie, song, or TV show, gets deep into the grooves. It wires each of us significantly as people.

I can’t prove The Little Mermaid planted those things. But I also can’t imagine my call to adventure would be as strong without it.

What’s interesting is that belonging, the true theme underneath the Little Mermaid, has followed me for years. I went back and found something I wrote about Ariel three years ago:

Looking at Ariel keeps making me ponder, where do I belong? Every day it feels like it changes. It’s like I’m a butterfly flippantly flapping out of my chrysalis trying to figure out where I’m trying to go even though no destination is my truth right away. With each exertion of energy, I need to check in and feel that I’m flying in a direction that is in alignment with my head, heart, and body. I don’t have the answers here. I’m still trying to figure this out. Belonging is confusing because I want to feel safe as I am, yet I live in a changing world that challenges me to transform alongside it.

Three years later, I’m still reflecting on this. Which maybe means it’s a question I carry as I explore how connection plays a role in my life rather than something to solve. Like a shell I keep turning over in my hand, looking for something new each time.

my sister’s successful shell hunt circa 2022 in St. Thomas

The shells on the beach are all different. Some are smooth, like the conch, or rugged and rough, like coral, or other transparent, delicate mollusks I cannot name. Each one shaped by a different tide, a different depth, a different length of time in the water.

I keep humming along on my beach walks about what shaped me before I knew I was being shaped. I know Ariel would approve.

🎬 Watching

The classic movie “The Little Mermaid”.

🧐 Perusing Archives

And getting surprised by the fact that I recorded a video of myself singing my favorite song three years ago:

Jen Vermet singing The Little Mermaid - Part Of Your World- May 29 2023 - Watch Video

In hindsight, this attempt at singing is what brought me to my tiny experiment of surrendering my shame and taking some voice lessons. And then that inspired me to take a painting workshop taught by my friend Marta and I started to surrender even more.

The live-action Little Mermaid movie came out in 2023, and I wrote up a reflection of it here:

🧜‍♀️ From Fins to Feet: Belonging in a Sea of Uncertainty

Another resonant quote about how the place we are in shapes how we see ourself:

As of January of this year [2023], after a couple of lovely adventures to the DMV, I became a resident of Hawaii, also known as “kamaʻāina”. But I will never technically be “Kanaka Maoli” as a Native Hawaiian, since I did not come out from this land. I never will.

When I visit relatives in the Netherlands, I am American. But when I’m in America and speak my limited and elementary Dutch, I feel Dutch. When I am in the house I grew up in Michigan, I feel like my 18-year-old self. How does one find where they belong? It’s like everywhere I go, it’s easy to feel like a fish out of water. (But unlike Ariel, at least I get to cry about it above seawater).

Reading

I’ve been listening to The Surrender Experiment: My Journey into Life’s Perfection by Michael Singer. I am excited to meet him tomorrow at his talk at the Temple of the Universe.

Here are three resonant quotes:

1. “My formula for success was very simple: Do whatever is put in front of you with all your heart and soul without regard for personal results. Do the work as though it were given to you by the universe itself - because it was.”

2. “I am so grateful that surrender had taught me to willingly participate in life’s dance with a quiet mind and an open heart.”

3. “Each of us actually believes that things should be the way we want them, instead of being the natural result of all the forces of creation.”

🎧Listening

Sean Angus Watson

I used to love listening to him thanks to an intro from my roommate and then I completely dropped him off a cliff after realizing he was a top artist on my annual stats and I wanted to venture off. And now here I am back again.

🔍Word to define

thingamabob

(n) used to refer to or address a person or thing whose name one has forgotten, does not know, or does not wish to mention.

Ex: you want thingamabobs, I got twenty! But who cares. No big deal. I want more.

🌟Quote to inspire

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.”

— Dale Carnegie

📸Photos of the Week

Oh how I love watching the sandpipers scurry up and down the shore at dusk looking for some grub before bedtime.

🙏Shoutouts

• To Tommy Dixon for winning the biggest essay contest ever to take place on the Internet, and to Michael Dean for leading this legendary project! Buy your copy of the anthology for the best essays of 2025 on the Internet here.

• To Ray Liu and Danny Miranda for the book rec by Michael Singer!

  • And to Ray writing this reflection of the greatest talk he ever witnessed

---

I am grateful you chose to fill part of your day here.

If something in this letter resonated, press the ❤️ , leave a comment, reply to this email, or reach me at vermetJL@gmail.com. I love hearing from you.

Keep on learning 😁

Tot snel 🌺 🌺

Toodles :)

Jen

P.S. #1 - I coach writers. I guide them to build a writing routine and have fun hitting “publish.” Let’s chat.

P.S. #2 - I wrote a book. Letters to My Life is my favorite way to share my writing with you (and it keeps your screen-time stats down). Grab your copy here.

P.S. #3 - Here’s what you missed. Last week I wrote about fun February finds