💪 Strength in Suffering
A poem about lessons from my long 21km run (letter 248)
Hell no to the handicap. No dogs— you growl and run, but you’re not gonna ruin my day. Ima keep going. Never stop. At 4:45 am on Sunday, February 2nd, a pack of feral furies chased me on my motorbike— a raw reminder that life is suffering. But suffering is not a sentence—it’s a choice. The day before, I sat with Ajahn, a quiet monk in the Doi Chang mountains. He reminded me that thoughts are a great power, that pain can be a teacher, not just a jailer. “Suffering is a choice. And his lessons are our best teacher,” he said. and in that moment, during mile one I reminded myself and chose to rise— to keep running the race. Three months of late nights and tireless training had honed not just my body, but my mind— a plan etched in every step, starting at 5:30 a.m. I let Miley Cyrus crank the first mile, a defiant anthem in my ears: “and we can’t stop, and we won’t stop.” With each mile, my friend Katherine checked in, her presence creating a calmness, consoling me when barking dogs rattled my nerves. Physical pain was there— a burning right knee, a bloody left hand, a bruised spirit, but my mind’s stronger. I overlooked the ache, choosing instead to see that every wound is a story, every scar a lesson. There are still friendly dogs that smile, safe motorbike rides with wind in my hair, goosebumps in the shadows, and warmth in the shimmering sun. Life’s beauty lies in its contrasts. Messiness and suffering exist in all of life. They can never be avoided. At each mile, I cheehooed into the sky, street vendors clapped, children cheesed. Gratitude came: I am running with runners. On the last mile, a headlamped stranger matched my pace. Every step, an insistence: I refuse to let suffering dictate my day. It will always be present, but I choose whether to let it defeat me or notice it—while still moving forward. Hallelujah, I crossed that finish line not as a victim of the morning’s trauma, but as a warrior who recognized that pain Doesn’t need to be a weight, but a catalyst for strength. On this day, I celebrate the power of my mind, the clarity that suffering, when embraced wisely, can transform into the fuel that propels me forward. Feral furies may chase me, but I outrun fear with the fire of my will. I choose the beauty of a steady breath, the strength of a race run—no matter what, the power in pressing forward, pain and all. Suffering knocks, but I choose what weight it holds. It may exist, but it will never define me.
~~~
Sawadee ka friend👋
Greetings from a bus going from Chiang Mai to Chiang Rai.
It was a rough week for me. The incident mentioned above took everything out of me. I was horizontal for 60 hours, taking my first days of leave from my job as an English teacher for Thai 7th to 12th graders. I am feeling better now and profoundly grateful for the healing nature of our bodies. They are miraculous.
My health is my wealth, and I’m thankful it’s coming back.
🎧Listening
“Freedom for a Change” by Gizmo Varillas (found via recommended for me by Spotify)
Everybody wants just a little redemption
Everybody just needs a little affection
Everybody hurts, everybody heals
Everybody wants just a little connection
Everybody needs just a little attention
Everybody hurts, everybody healsWoohoo, woohoo
Beautiful day
Freedom, freedom, freedom for a change
🔍Word to define
Ajahn (อาจารย์) is a Thai and Lao term that means "teacher" or "professor".
It is a term used to signal respect in high school and university, similar to the Japanese word sensei. It is also used as a title for Buddhist monks who have maintained their monastic precepts unbroken for ten years
Example: At the high school if I wasn’t called Teacher Jennifer, I would go by Kru Jennifer, but if I was more senior or taught at a university I could be addressed as Ajahn Jennifer.
Etymology
Ajahn is derived from the Pali word ācariya
🌟Quote to inspire
“As human beings, we are born to learn, not to think. “— Ajahn, a content monk who has lived at the Doi Chang Buddhist Park for a few decades
📸Photo of the Week
I just had such a wholesome weekend living in a treehouse in Chang Dao with four English teacher friends I met the day I touched down in Bangkok in October. A reunion for the first time this year. White water rafting with Captain Jack Sparrow who enjoys singing the Titanic soundtrack and bouncing our way through rocks ramifications. Swarming bats in a cave with many, many spiders.
So many laughs. I now have lozenges to sooth my sore throat.
🙏Shoutouts
To the Spotify algorithm that I have been finding some new music from.
To my brother who has been creating my running plan each week since November last year
To Katherine, Grant, Emily, and Laura for their moral support on my run. It would’ve been a lot harder to finish without them.
To Ajahn the monk I met and offered me with inspiring words when I needed them most. I’d love to go live like a monk someday soon.
To my student Nene for bringing be breakfast and lunch straight to my dooe
To Pizza Hut in Thailand. I missed pizza.
I appreciate you reading this!
If ideas resonated, I’d love you to press the heart button, leave a comment, reply to this email, or reach me at vermetjl@gmail.com.
Keep on learning 😁
K̄ha bhuṇ ka 🌺 🌺
Jen
PS - in case you missed last week’s letter, I wrote 🇹🇭 100 Lessons from 100 Days in Thailand
PPS- if you’d like to read my favorite letters, the best way to encourage my work is to buy my book on Amazon here.
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I love this Jen! Your writing is great, thank you for sharing <3 :)
Wow, what an experience you are having! I admire your courage Jen to throw yourself into the deep end of life!