🐌 Snail-Paced Living
Letter 176: Homesick for Hawaii
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Aloha fellow learn-it-all 👋
Greetings from a foggy sunrise and my pal Ernie in Petoskey, Michigan!
This week went by like blinking my eye. The days are getting shorter quickly. The layers I’m wearing are piling on even quicker too. Unlike the seasons in Hawaii, I feel the time passing me more ravenously as leaves change from dark greens to lighter and warmer decaying colors around me.
I’ve been sitting on this idea I’m sharing with you for seven months now ever since my trip to Southeast Asia in the Spring and I’m stoked to share it with you finally. It feels like an obvious part of me is coming out even though it’s been shyly enjoying going unnoticed.
Now, let’s dive into letter 176 from a learn-it-all. Enjoy!
❓Question to think about
What is snail-paced living?
🖊️ Writing
“Why are you looking at that small black box instead of talking to me?”
My grandma Omi nagged these words at me in an infuriating voice when my iPhone captivated me from ages 15 to 23 until I lost her.
It is majestic and maddening to be a twenty-something living in today's digital age.
Last week, living in New York City, I couldn’t fathom life without having a computer in my pocket. I needed my phone.
I needed it to orient directions to hot yoga. I needed it to scan back into the apartment building. I needed it to check my weather app to see the 100% chance of rain for the next 2 hours. I needed it to push back my brunch plans. I needed it to enter the subway to scan my Apple Pay. I needed it to check GoogleMaps again to see my train transfer. I needed it to scan a CitiBike QR code to go across Pulaski Bridge to Greenpoint. I needed it to scan the QR code for the menu, even though I already knew I wanted the Croque Monsieur since I glanced at the menu pictures before.
Then finally, I didn't need it to channel my presence for an in-person conversation with my new writer friend.
A month ago, when I was driving my late grandpa’s stick shift 21-year-old Jeep Wrangler across Michigan, I knew where I was going. I didn’t need Google Maps. I am proud that I know how to drive five hours to northern Michigan across 276 miles. Sure, there are only five turns, but I have them memorized. It took me three hours to listen to a one-hour podcast. I don't like to listen to consume content. I dread listening at any speed above the default 1x speed. I listen to soak it in – to ravish, reflect, and ponder.
How did I become a millennial who is grateful for the speed of 5G Internet that enables Zoom calls to anyone in the world while craving my 8th-grade flip phone?
Thank you Steve Jobs for dropping the iPhone 16 years ago and starting the digital age. But, some days, I wish I could detach and live happily without the Internet off the grid on a sailboat with JOMO. A joy of missing out.
I find myself as a twenty-something with the pressure that I need to fit some fun hyper-connected version. But the truth is, a large part of me feels like I am letting down that infuriating voice from Omi about my "little black box". The spirit of my grandma lives within me today in my younger body.
This grandma-esque version of me envisions a trend of living that I love: snail-paced living.
It involves more intentional movements with patience.
Here are some things that might mean a person is suitable for a snail-paced lifestyle:
prefers making the time to meet up IRL (in real life) with internet friends even if impractical and enjoys voicemails and voice notes because the voice is powerful and thoughtful
savors snail mail, relistens to words on audio, and will reread books to further revisit ideas; poetry feels like play with its constraints
takes the time to brew a pot of tea as part of morning and evening routine — though they would never drink a caffeinated drink past the AM hours
is mindful of apps that can be time sucks and doesn’t scroll into the wee hours of the night, because sleep is more important; is most likely to misplace their phone throughout the day because they are detached from it
fancies physical books, fountain pens, and has a fantasy of someday owning a typewriter
The central concept is to take your time and discover the intent behind your actions. Thanks to technology and AI, we can fit more tasks in an hour, but that doesn't mean we actually should. Not only is the quality of our actions likely to suffer, but we lose track of our intent, too. We lose the meaning that makes everything, our life itself, feel meaningful.
Looking at myself and my own habits and patterns, there came a point when I realized that waking up to the sound of spotted doves and sunlight streaming through my window was far more important – more meaningful – than setting an alarm at 6:00 AM to prepare for my morning of back-to-back calls behind a screen.
This type of life is not for everyone, but I share this to let you know that it is possible, because this is how I’ve been choosing to live. I used to feel shame for preferring to live slower. No longer. I enjoy how this has transformed me into who I am today after reinventing myself to match the lifestyle I have.
I no longer feel guilt for my preferences as a twenty-something to be without the go, go, go. These things have created a place that feels like home to me that I love.
Just because a digital life is the default one doesn’t mean we have to be digital. Technology progression doesn’t equate to progression in humanity or a better life with speed.
I invite you to figure out the speed of life that you prefer to live. Take an hour today to leave your phone in the other room and be with yourself intentionally.
No matter your age, I encourage you to try snail-paced living.
🎧 Listening
Don't take yourself so seriously
Look at you all dressed up for someone you never see
You're here for a reason but you don't know why
You're split and uneven your hands to the sky
Surrender yourselfAnd I wonder why I tear myself down
To be built back up again
Oh I hope somehow, I'll wake up young again
All that's left of myself
Holes in my false confidence
And now I lay myself down
And hope I wake up young again
🌟Quote to inspire
"The person who focuses on one task and sees it through to completion—even if they work in a somewhat slow or outdated manner—beats the endless optimizer who jumps from tool to tool and always hopes a new piece of technology will help them finish what they start." - James Clear
📸Photos of the Week
On the left: André Rieu is a Dutch violinist from Maastricht and a conductor best known for creating the Johann Strauss Orchestra that I saw in Detroit this past week. Johann Strauss was the father of the modern waltz. Rieu is quite a peacock as my grandma would say yet he was one of her favorite orchestras. It was quite a marvel to watch the most dressed-up musicians in bright colors I had ever seen in beautiful ball gowns with a tener group and soprano group. His musicians and singers represented 16 countries and were 80+ individuals traveling the world together. It left me in awe. Omi was there with me in spirit listening. <3
On the right: My friend CAJ flew in from Egpyt (and forgoed seeing Jordan) to see little ol’ me in Michigan and more importantly to see one of our favorite musicians: Noah Kahan. He’s a 26-year-old singer-songwriter from Vermont who went viral on TikTok in 2020. I did my first triathlon in the fall with CAJ and we played his album through our training. Fond memories brought me to tears seeing him live next to two people I love so much including my sister. Much of his music is sappy and sad about his condition with depression, and he shows integrity by sending proceeds to mental health organizations.
These concerts are starkly different experiences. Music is such a beautiful phenomenon that has brought people from everywhere together since before the beginning of time. It’s something I don’t ever want to take for granted.
🙏Shoutouts
To all who contributed to this piece of writing: CAJ, Chris Angelis, John Lanza, DJ May, Kavir Kaycee, Diana Klatt, Alex Hughe Sam, Katarina Bohle Carbonell, Danver Chandler, Jasmine, Nicolas Forero, Charlene Wang, Edvardo Archer, Cassandra Ellis, Amber Williams, Mark Cutts, and Daniel Sisson
To André Rieu and Noah Kahan for sharing their music with the world
To my brother for getting yet another personal record in his half-iron-man over the weekend and qualifying for the worlds in New Zealand, quite the inspiration. Cheering you on!
I appreciate you reading this!
If ideas resonate, I’d love you to press the heart button, leave a comment, reply to this email, or reach me at vermetjl@gmail.com. If you forgot who I am, I welcome you to my online home.
Never stop learning 😁
Mahalo 🌺
Jen
PS - in case you missed last week’s letter, I shared 🐙 Adaptation in Action: How Our Environments Mold Us
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