This sunset in Phuket reminded meālifeās never just one color.
The softness and the storm, the push and the pull, the rising swell and the lullāitās all there.
Kind of like me.
Kind of like you.
To be human is to be a bipedal being of contradictions.
Below are eight poems on the pendulums Iāve been swinging between latelyā
small swings between opposing truths.
Maybe youāre somewhere in the middle too?
~~~
(1) ā³ Time vs. Money
I might die tomorrow And I want to live to be a centenarian. So I want to look out for my future self and save money. But future me, she cannot make more timeā only more money. So when I make decisions, Iām tornābetween what lasts, and what Iāll never get back.
(2) š¤ Hannah Montana vs. Hiding
I want to be like Hannah Montanaā sharing my gifts and being known, But still have privacy. Miley Cyrusā character encapsulated the dichotomy. To live bravely, with loud expression while still keeping parts tucked away. Growing fans who adore her work While still having secrets, Walking down the street unknown. She had the best of both worlds.
(3) šIntimacy vs. Independence
I want to be intimate and vulnerable but Iām also afraid of being seen as flawed. I like being strong and self-sufficientā like I donāt need anyone. But then I see a man hug his girlfriend in an airport terminal, and I miss the kind of safety and co-regulation you canāt give yourself. I miss sharing the long stories instead of the short versions. I miss sharing new experiences together.
(4) š§āāļø The Buddha Way to Enlightenment
I want to be enlightened, like the Buddhaā following the eightfold path to live without discontent, to swim in steady peace and joy. But that feels distant, even unrelatable. Most of humanity isnāt that way. But do I even want to be like most of humanity? After all, Iāve finally made strokes in accepting the hard emotions.
(5) āļø Jesus and Heaven
I want to lead life with love always, Just like Jesus, not to earn my way to heaven, but to live in a way that brings heaven to earth. To act with radical compassion, forgiveness, and presence. With selfless service to heal, even when love feels like crucifixion. But lifeās busy with other worldly agendas, And striving for perfection in the face of endless evil is exhausting. Logic gets in the way of love Unexpressed feelings fester, Grudges become regularized, And fear follows. It becomes an uphill battle. But stillā Carrying the weight of love, not as a burden, but as the path to purposeful becoming.
(6) š§āāļøGrowth vs. Wholeness
Humans are birthed into this Earth wholeā enough, just as we are. And still, growing beyond that is a sacred kind of striving. And a worthwhile pursuit.
(7) š„ Maintenance vs. Meaning
I am a spiritual being living in a physical bodyā so itās wise to take care: To floss, To avoid toxins, To stretch my limbs, To fill my heart with love, To sleep and support my brain, To protect my lungs from fumes, To fill my stomach with sustenance. But I must be carefulā not to become a salary slave in society, pouring all my energy into maintaining the brain and body, while starving my spirit.
(8) āļø Sensibility vs. Sensing
I want to make sense and still be movedā full of wind in my sails. To think with clarity, and act on instinct. To be measured and wildly free. Maybe the way forward isnāt choosing sides, but learning to hold both with grace. To find the middle way and walk it wide awake.
~~~
If one of these stirred something in your head or heart or spirit, feel free to write me back.
Thanks for swinging through the pendulum of polarities with me. Thereās so many ways I can choose to live. It never bores me. It astounds me. It excites me.
See you next week. :)
Keep on learning, šššŗ
Jen
PS- if youād like to read my favorite letters, the best way to encourage my work is to buy my book on Amazon here.
PPS - in case you missed last weekās letter on my spring life update, itās here.
Beautiful poems Jen. You start with that spectacular image and end with the middle way, which feels fitting. The middle way is to make oneself anew, over and over again, as the sunset does each and every day, ignoring its previous brilliance or its future potential, just shining here and nowāas you are doing with your poems.