🌊 Letter 143: Twenty Two Lessons from 2022
What the heck did I learn this past year? & some swell pics from a legendary big wave surf competition: the Eddy
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Aloha fellow learn-it-all 👋
Greetings from Waimea Bay, Hawaii!
More on the above picture and epic surf competition at the bottom of this letter. First I’ve gotta tell you some other breaking news.
This past week I started an Acting 101 class. On day one we already were doing monologues and I was SO in my head. It was pretty brutal. It was wildly humiliating to be so bad at something again. I’m going to try my best to remember that I signed up for this to be courageous and have some fun. I’m not expecting to become a paid actress anytime soon.
Now, let’s dive into letter 143 from a learn-it-all. Enjoy!
❓Question to think about
What were my lessons from 2022?
🖊️ Writing
Twenty Two Lessons from 2022
Cringing is cool. It shows growth. Embrace that and be proud of it. Each month I wrote myself a letter this past year that I compiled into a binder. I feel cringey every time I open a letter from my past self and I secretly love it. (Taylor Swift agrees).
Validate your feelings. They are all acceptable and meant to be seen rather than ignored or numbed.
Stop making life black or white. Life does not fit perfectly into boxes so stop expecting yourself to fit into either “this” or “that”. Be both. Be neither. It’s up to you.
The passage of time is sad yet celebratory. I earned this age. I am not a victim of it. It is a privilege to be alive. Embrace every season of life. To age is beautiful, not decaying.
Sadness and love are similar feelings. When I took a 5-day hiatus from journaling, I cried. Similar to the days I’ve previously spent crying from being laid off in 2020, I cry because I care. That is nothing to be ashamed of.
Be aware of your attachments. Life without my journal is a much more confusing place. I am attached to my practice. It is okay to have attachments as long as I am aware of the suffering I may cause down the road.
We need to notice boredom instead of running away from it. Be mindful of how you use your phone rather than how it uses you. If something is free, your attention is the transaction.
My role model in life is an unabashedly and untamed banyan tree. She has seasons to bloom and seasons to prune. Her roots grow deeper into the ground and also are expansive from above. She is content, yet not complacent. Her trunk’s rings are expanding each year. She fully accepts growth. Without shame, she advocates for what she needs, like sun, soil, and water
Dive deeper into envy. Wherever I feel jealous of someone it's because I subconsciously am envious of them. And there's something at the root of it that I need to unravel.
When you give love, finding love is easier. If I light candles, write letters, and eat yummy food for myself, it feels seamless to bring light, write kindness and share tastynss with others around me.
Beauty is all around us if you choose to notice. Like in the beautiful flowing words of the song like Aloha Ke Akua. Or while seeing the smiling face of Hugh Jackman performing The Music Man on Broadway like it was his first-time tap dancing. Or noticing how much wonder and imagination went into the cinematography to capture a movie like the Avatar.
Experiences are transferable. You never know how one thing will lead to the next. Trust the trajectory that you're on. The dots will connect eventually if you become creative enough of a storyteller ;)
Competitions can be exhilarating. I get why there's hype around races. Endorphins are enlivening.
It's easier to always say no rather than overthink sometimes saying yes. I found myself drinking when I gave myself permission to sometimes and I did it impulsively to try to belong. I never felt good about that decision.
Zoom out on your progress. It's humbling to be next to the pros, but also go next to the beginners and gain some perspective and appreciation for how far you've come along your way. I realized this when I took my sister surfing in December.
Embrace your needs without shame. I need accountability for my fitness. I need to make money. I need to advocate for myself. I need to chug water in the morning. I need to wear my retainer every night in order to sleep. I am okay with being alone, but I can get lonely and I need to have friends who can support me and be my lifeline.
Lean into your quirks. It's joyous. I love writing by hand. I love sending voice notes. I love jazz hands. I love composting banana peels. I love finding the history of words, where they have been, and how they turned into what they are.
Learn together. It's so much more fun than going it alone. That's why I started the Poem Project in December.
Pen pals inject surprise. If you are crazy at all like me, shoot me your mailing address and I would love to mail you a letter. It brings me so much joy and there’s so much surprise in putting thoughts into words onto paper and sending them to someone new.
Feelings add texture to life. They are meant to be touched and felt, not latched on to and suffocated or avoided or overthought. Just feel them.
Laugh. If you will laugh about it tomorrow, why not start laughing about it today? You can take something less seriously and save yourself some pain by letting it go. Feel what you are feeling, but also recognize it will float away in due time.
It’s okay to let go. It’s quite honestly brave and *not* a failure. I don't know how long I'll be on this bus ride of life. Among other things, currently, I’ve got shave ice and a journaling method to share, a surfboard, and my best friend Emily are on it. I don't know how long all these projects, interests, and people are going to be here, so I want to hold on to them tight and embrace them and enjoy them. It’s naive to think that each will be with me forever.
🎧 Listening
Speedy, speedy, slow down time
Gas station is running dry
Mhm, eh eh, mhm
Sweaty, sweaty, wonder why
Now it's always summer time
Mhm, eh eh, mhm
🌟 Quote to inspire
“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything.
Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”
― Rainer Maria Rilke
📸 Photos of the Week
I saw history take place last weekend while I was at “The Eddie”.
This big wave surf competition only takes place when the waves are consistently over 40 feet. The last time this happened was in 2016. Anybody who was anybody was at this race at Waimea Bay. The committed ones camped overnight to avoid traffic (that was me and my friends).
It was a mix of the world's top professional surfers and local legends on waves exceeding 50 feet. There were an estimated 60,000 spectators watching alongside me from the beach and surrounding cliffs.
The underdog 27-year-old Luke Shepardson, a surfer, and lifeguard from the North Shore of Oahu, defeated the biggest names in the sport, including the 2016 defending titleholder John John Florence, a two-time world champion. (To read more)
🙏 Shoutouts
To my friend Jon for taking those stellar photos above at the Eddie surf competition. (And for letting me camp in his van the night before.)
To
for doing the most thoughtful curation of writers and their annual reviews in Behind the Scenes of the Annual Review 2022To Kym Ellis for her ideas in editing my annual review and her unwavering support.
To
for encouraging me to sign up for my acting class!To
for her support as I attempt to be braver in my writing
I appreciate you reading this!
If ideas resonated, I’d love you to leave a comment, reply to this email, or send me a message on Twitter @JenVermet. If you forgot who I am, I welcome you to my online home.
Never stop learning 😁
Mahalo 🌺
Jen
PS - if you missed last week’s 🔙 Letter 142: Looking back at five events that shaped my year
If you’re reading this because someone shared this newsletter with you, welcome! I’d love it if you subscribed:
👣 Footnotes
On the impact of books:
On my love for sesame seeds:
On my neck saving pose:
On setting a vision:
Oh, what I would give to be in that acting class with you, Jen.
It sounds like it would be so much fun lol
If you have not seen John John's documentary view from a Blue Moon you must! And if you like it check out his series Vela on YouTube: https://youtu.be/hmH3XMlms8E
Really enjoyed this review Jen! "Beauty is all around us if you choose to notice" was a favorite lesson I know I'm always returning to. Looking forward to all you do in 2023!