🔄 In & Out for 2025

What stays, what goes, and what matters this year

Sawadee ka fellow learn-it-all 👋

Greetings from the Kok River walk in Chiang Rai, Thailand 🇹🇭

Coming here on Fridays after school has become a ritual. It’s quiet and allows some separation from work, where I live. And there’s cows that graze nearby, so it kind of feels like a canal in the Netherlands. That’s definitely a plus. I miss it there.

In March, I started an experiment I call “Mission Non-stimulation March”. I’ll share about that another time.

The more exciting project I started is by sharing daily notes on Substack to express myself more. I wanted to share some of those before diving into the rest of my writing today:

I took time away from my teaching job to go learn more about meditation and Buddhism…

Only to come back after it didn’t meet my expectations, though I am grateful I attended …

Now, let’s dive into letter 253 from a learn-it-all. Enjoy!

❓Question to think about

What’s in this year and what’s out?

🖊️Writing

In 2023, I shared an In & Out list. I’m taking a page out of that book to share a list I’ve created for this year. I started creating this in January and decided it’s still fun to share despite it being March.

2025 ✅ In & ❌ Out list

✅ 19 Things In for 2025

1. eating fruit til noon (hi mangoes & bananas)

2. embracing randomness and serendipity without questioning

3. Spotify Discover Weekly and Daylists and dreaming

4. quality time on phone calls & sharing stories

5. learning new words in any language

6. poetic rhythmic expression

7. having FUN to have FUN

8. dumb phone days

9. body movement in all ways

10. awkward honest conversations

11. creating alpha waves in my brain

12. healing my heart and body

13. listening to full music albums

14. creating and sharing with a few friends

15. becoming a power napping pro

16. voicing my needs

17. a calm regulated nervous system

18. sharing energy to those who make me feel alive and seen

19. creating leverage and dividends

❌ 19 Things Out for 2025

1. caring what others think

2. being overly polite

3. losing toenails

4. consecutive nights in front of a screen watching movies/ TV

5. allowing fear of embarrassment to stop my from trying

6. fixating on deficiencies or feeling not enough

7. queued up podcasts or audiobook without pausing

8. treating my phone like it’s a limb on my body

9. focusing on the flaw of a feedback sandwich

10. too many mantras

11. consuming more than I create

12. holding onto thoughts of those who hurt me

13. reading without reflection

14. gel-manicured nails

15. over-stimulation

16. nightly night market attendance

17. useless Zoom calls

18. overplanning

19. meat every meal

If you missed last week, I shared photos and reflections from 2024 in a letter. You can check it out here:

🍋 Dear Zesty 2024

📖Reading

When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi

It’s a memoir by a young neurosurgeon faced with a terminal cancer diagnosis who attempts to answer the question 'What makes a life worth living?'.

A friend mailed me this book from London in 2020 and I never read it, and now, five years later, I finally am. I am just now half way in and planning to finish it this weekend. And it is so rich and astute. Even the gore of reading about medical school. Iykyk.

I resonated deeply around this concept of being unfinished in my exploration of life and its meaning while reading page 39:

As graduation loomed, I had a nagging sense that there was still far too much unresolved for me and that I wasn’t done studying. I applied for a master’s in English literature at Stanford and was accepted into the program. I had come to see language as an almost supernatural force, existing between people, bringing our brains, shielded in centimeter-thick skulls, into communion. A word meant something only between people, and life’s meaning, its virtue, had something to do with depth of the relationships we form. It was the relationship aspect of humans—i.e., “human relationality”—that undergirded meaning. Yet somehow, this process existed in brains and bodies, subject to their own physiologic imperatives, prone to breaking and failing. There must be a way, I thought, that the language of life as experienced—of passion, of hunger, of love—bore some relationship, however convoluted, to the language of neurons, digestive tracts, and heartbeats.

🎬 Watching

I was feeling sad last weekend after all the students moved away from the boarding school, so then queued up this movie to A Star is Born.

The song “Shallow” in it is beautiful and resonates deeply.

“Tell me somethin', girl, Are you happy in this modern world?”

🎧Listening

My friend Dane started making music with his sister and I love it a lot.

Keep it simple
Don’t overthink it.

Less is more,
More or less
Most of the time.

You’re always pacing,
that’s mind’s gone racing,
preoccupied
and too numb to realize that

Life is beautiful.

Life is beautiful.

Life is beautiful.

🔍Word to define

Sādhu (Pali word) is pronounced “Satoo”. In Thai: สาธุ

It is a kind of Buddhist version of the 'Amen'.

When I went to the meditation class, I said Satoo each of the three times that I bowed in front of the Buddha to pay my respects like everyone else around me.

Etymology (from Wikipedia)

The Pali word 'sādhu' is derived from the Sanskrit root 'sādh' which means 'to accomplish', 'to succeed', or 'to be efficient'.^[11][12] By adding the suffix '-u', it creates the adjective meaning 'accomplished' or 'efficient.'^[13] The meaning describes someone who has succeeded in their spiritual or moral endeavors.

🌟Quote to inspire

“Do or do not, there is no try.” — Yoda

📸Photos of the Week

I tried my best to not have favorite students but alas, here are some shots with them.

Photographed are Tonnam and Planin after we listened and sang to their favorite Adele and Lana Del Ray songs. Some take away afternoon pick-me-ups from my favorite barista that I order in Thai.. P and Kaimook who love reading Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland with me. Panna and her future me letter to 2030.My last suki lunch from the canteen. Ing, Nicha, Ning, and Lukpat picking up their graded worksheets. Kru Emily pointing out that I misspelled “How to train your Dragon” while grading her students listening skills. A selfie with a gardenia I found on my walk home from school. My dad’s favorite flower.

🙏Shoutouts

• to my students that I miss dealy <3

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I appreciate you reading this!

If ideas resonated, I’d love you to press the heart button, leave a comment, reply to this email, or reach me at vermetjl@gmail.com.

Keep on learning 😁

K̄ha bhuṇ ka 🌺 🌺

Jen

PS - in case you missed last week’s letter on a reflection from my zesty 2024

🍋 Dear Zesty 2024

PPS- if you’d like to read my favorite letters, the best way to encourage my work is to buy my book on Amazon here.

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