A little reminder to slow down

On tired deflating bike tires, soft smiles, and learning to rest without guilt

November 13, 2025

Hello hello, fellow learn-it-all 👋

Greetings from an ice-box of a room in Den Haag, the Netherlands.

I’m like a Russian doll, wrapped in layers with two or three pairs of socks, two shirts minimum, and my corduroys that are basically a second skin at this point. Still waiting on the heater repair, but I did learn how to bleed a radiator, thanks to a Brazilian man named Emerson who speaks more Dutch than English. A very chaotic but enlightening encounter.

Anywho, here’s something I’ve been feeling insecure about: taking a sick day when I’m not paid for one.

When I look back on being a full-time in-person English teacher to 177 Thai students, I didn’t miss the fluorescent lighting or the calendar congestion. But I do miss paid time off. Even if it was only a couple days. Especially on days like today, when my period started and my whole body feels like it’s running on half a battery.

this red light felt poetic next to the church

Back in high school, my Microeconomics teacher, Mr. Cayo, drilled “opportunity cost” into my noggin. The idea that choosing one thing always means giving up another. At seventeen, it was just a test concept for an essay on an advanced placement exam for college credit. Today, it shows up as a quiet whisper every time I rest:

If you take a sick day, you’re putting off your priorities.

If you slow down, you’ll fall ‘behind’.

If you nap, you’re losing time you can’t buy back.

This is the strange mental math of self-employment: you become your own HR department, your own benefits package, your own reluctant manager telling yourself, “Honestly, you should keep going because Q4 cash-flow statement is looking bleak.”

But yesterday, my body won.

On the way to my only errand of the day — the grocery store — a man beamed a smile at me while biking along the canal with his headphones on. Pure sunshine. The tension squeezing the top of my head loosened. Maybe it was the paracetamol settling in. Maybe it was the reminder that life is still soft around the edges, even when we’re tired. And maybe that’s a sign of its own kind of wisdom.

☕ The day’s joy list

(because slowing down means returning to the soft, simple things)

• cozy wool socks

• watering the plants

• long steamy shower

• moisturizing my face

• jaw massage post-siesta

• lemon honey throat lozenges

• banana yoga pose hip opener

• brushing my hair longer than usual

• spinach with honey mustard dressing

• eggs cooked slowly with salt and pepper

• toast with banana + peanut butter + honey

• a hot beverage cupped in both hands most of the day

• drinking straight from the jug of fresh-squeezed OJ (or sinaasappelsap)

• opening the curtains more to let sunilght stream in while listening to Sunshine by Lily Meola (Found through my “Mountain cottagecore Wednesday morning” Spotify daylist)

• then listening to this is sad playlist by my cousin Christa and rediscover ‘Fix You’ by Coldplay

High iron + high comfort. The kind of medicine I need.

A couple nights ago put me over the edge. I got my bike back from Amsterdam after picking it up from the mechanic. I was charged €7.50 for some air. Both the young apprentice and the grizzled veteran with oil-blackened hands told me my kickstand was done for, and that the front tire was fine. “It just deflates sometimes.” Same, honestly.

After my writing class in Amsterdam Zuid, I took my bike on the train to go back to my new place in den Haag. A 6 foot 4 older teenager on the train thought I was drunk. I couldn’t maneuver my bike correctly and it kep falling over with my newly more janky kickstand. She showed me to lock the back wheel, so the spike won’t rotate. I got home at almost midnight to the heater still not working, and discovered a soggy chlorinated towel in the bottom of my bag from my morning swim. My version of adulthood, apparently.

So this is me, giving myself permission to slow down.

To nap.

To chug OJ out of the carton.

To trust that rest is the thing that helps everything else happen.

❓Question to think about

When was the last time you let yourself rest? Not because you’d earned it, but simply because you needed it?

📝 A note for all the friends not in a 9-5s from

Andi Bitay

🎧Listening

Slow It Down by Mike Posner

Honestly one of my all-time favorite songs. It came on my shuffle while I was stressed about having a bike on the train and my heart beats simmered.

I’m in prison and I think I built my own cell
Prophets speak softly, homie, they don’t yell
Only those that hear my music know my lower depths
The doer does, the knower rests
The scholar learns, the sage forgets
If I could wrap my head around it, then I might get a shot
I get what I think about, whether I like it or not
When things go wrong, life doesn’t stop

I need to quit pollutin’ my mind with sex and violence
The secret that I’m seekin’ was left in silence
And my microphone is pointin’ God’s finger
I’m a saint disguised as a pop singer
Here’s a fun fact (fun fact)
Most people leave their potential untapped
There will be more than camping gear to unpack
Sometimes you gotta go there just so you could come back

Slow it down
I still got the feeling, baby
Slow it down
No more runnin’ around
I said, slow it down
I still got the feeling, baby
Slow it down
No more runnin’ around

A few more parts of this song that resoante profoundly:

🔍Dutch Phrase to define

een glimlach op je gezicht:

a smile on your face

🌟Quote to inspire

“Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.” —Dalai Lama

📸Photo of the Week

🙏Shoutouts

• to Roger and Marijn for making a tasty Surinamese dish for dinner last night. Was Zo gezellig talking about religious philosophies and stepping stones.

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I am grateful you chose to fill part of your day here.

If something in this letter resonated, press the ❤️ , leave a comment, reply to this email, or reach me at vermetJL@gmail.com. I love hearing from you.

Keep on learning 😁

Tot snel 🌺 🌺

Toodles :)

Jen

P.S. #1 - I coach writers. I guide them to find their voice, build a writing rhythm, and have fun hitting “publish.” Let’s chat.

P.S. #2 - Here’s what you missed. Last week I wrote about how one year ago I left the US to venture onto my dream of being overseas

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a mini win of 24 hours of fame as a trending writer 🙂