📝 29 notes to myself
Reflections from 29 trips around the sun (Letter 249)
Sawadee ka friend 👋
Greetings from somewhere off the grid in the Chiang Dao mountains in northern Thailand. 🇹🇭
I scheduled this post yesterday. A festival was calling my name once I read the about page: “We are a group of die-hard Japanese (ageing 😆) hippies, supported by our friends in Thailand. We like to keep things analogue, handmade, organic and slow.” It screams Jen. C’mon now.
Anywho, let’s dive into letter 249 from a learn-it-all. Enjoy!
❓Question to think about
I’ve been alive for 29 rotations around the sun. What are some notes to remind myself with on my life’s philosophy?
🖊️Writing
This list has some nuggets I’ve collected over the years from books, friendships, experiences, and mistakes. As I turn 29, I wanted to share them with you, like a letter to my future self, a reminder of what matters. Maybe one of these sparks something for you, too.
🌊 On Play & Perspective
Make it fun. We don’t stop playing because we’re old. We grow old because we stop playing.
Life is long—be patient. Stories look fast after the fact, but they feel slow in real time.
Nothing is a waste. Detours, dead ends, and unexpected turns all carry lessons—if we choose to see them.
Follow what excites you. If something lights you up for days, weeks, or months, that’s a clue. Follow it. Start a tiny experiment. Trying something for 30 days makes life feel like a fun game.
Boredom isn’t a villain. It tills the soil so new ideas can grow.
🫂 On Friendship
To be interesting, be interested. Listen actively—two ears, one mouth—so use them in that ratio. Show you understand by repeating back what you hear.
Fill your charcuterie board with aged gouda and young brie. In other words, read old books that survived the test of time, not just blogs. Surround yourself with friends who’ve lived many seasons and those just beginning one.
Follow up with friends. Thoughtfulness is underrated. A text, a voice note, a doodled letter—it all counts.
Tell people you love them. Even if you’re unsure it’s reciprocated—regret is worse, trust me.
Smile at strangers. A gesture I picked up in a Fijian village a decade ago, and it still surprises me how much it matters.
Ask for forgiveness rather than permission. If you’re respectful and well-intended, go for it.
🎨 On Creativity
Create for the sake of creation. That’s reason enough.
Just because it’s been said doesn’t mean it’s been heard. The world might need to hear it again, especially from you. With 8 billion people out there, sharing what you care about isn’t cringe—it’s necessary.
Evidence breeds courage. If you have a portfolio of 249 newsletters online, no one will deny the truth of you calling yourself a writer.
Thoughts are just thoughts. Don’t “should” on yourself with thoughts from external expectations. And definitely don’t let Cruella (fear) drive. Joy gets to sit in shotty next to you.
You are many things. Permit yourself to dabble. I can be extroverted and introverted. Sedentary and active. Productive and restful.
⚖️ On Decision-Making
Focus on what you can change. Complaining won’t fix anything. If the conversation is useless, hang up the phone or walk away. There are too many talkers in the world.
Go for a walk. A problem always feels more solvable after. A 12-hour walk is fun, too.
Say "I don’t know." Exploration starts there. It’s genuine and vulnerable to admit not knowing.
Integrity isn’t lost when you change your mind. Life shifts, new information comes in—pivots are part of staying true to your evolving self.
⛵ On Sailing
When in doubt, let it out. Be it tears down your cheek, angry words on a paper to an ex-lover, or the sail when you're going downwind.
Point the tiller toward trouble. Avoiding problems makes them worse. So, make the lists, have the hard conversations, sort it out.
Get out of irons. When you’re stuck, take action. Tinker. Try something new. I moved abroad when I felt complacent in my happy home in Hawaii.
All knots are beautiful. A square knot is strong because it’s tied the way it is. Not everything has to be undone.
🔋 On Needs
Resting doesn’t make you lazy. Stress + rest = growth.
Stop trying to self-actualize at the top of the pyramid—start with food, sleep, a hug, and physical activity. In the morning, if caffeine is in the picture, it can wait an hour after water, sunlight, movement, and gratitude reflections.
Make up your own rituals. I do a Think Week, a 12-hour walk, and a several day silent meditation retreat each year—just because they make sense to me.
Ruthlessly recreate your life. Update how you operate, or algorithms will hijack your caveman’s hardware. Set new boundaries. Curate your world—consume selectively while choosing wisely. And maybe use your smartphone for an actual call once in a while.
Life is for living. Soak it up, dive in, and carpe the heck out of this diem!
Here’s to another year of learning, playing, creating, exploring, connecting, and loving deeply.
🎧Listening
Vienna by Billy Joel
This song came on my shuffle last night and it struck a chord with me, yet again.
Slow down, you're doin' fine
You can't be everything you wanna be before your time
Although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight, tonight
Too bad, but it's the life you lead
You're so ahead of yourself, that you forgot what you need
Though you can see when you're wrong
You know you can't always see when you're right
You're right
You've got your passion, you've got your pride
But don't you know that only fools are satisfied?
Dream on, but don't imagine they'll all come true, ooh
When will you realize Vienna waits for you?
🌟Quote to inspire
“If you never did, you should. These things are fun and fun is good.” —Dr. Seuss
📸Photo of the Week
To future me, this is what I looked like. Life’s good. I had the day off on Wednesday for the Thai Buddhist holiday called Makha Bucha Day that falls on a full moon day and commemorates Buddha's sermon to 1,250 of his disciples.
As my active traditions for my birthday I swam 2900 meters in less than an hour and a 50 of that I sprinted in 36seconds not bad! It feels swell to be alive. I am grateful for this life I live.
🙏Shoutouts
To Hannah for supporting me in editing this to make it more clear
To all 646 of you reader! My life became significantly better when I started this weekly ritual nearly 5 years ago in March 2020 for self-expression. Thank you for reading (or listening) along. 🙏
I appreciate you reading this :-)
If ideas resonated, I’d love you to press the heart button, leave a comment, reply to this email, or reach me at vermetjl@gmail.com.
Keep on learning 😁
Sawadee ka 🌺 🌺
Jen
PS- if you’d like to read my favorite letters, the best way to encourage my work is to buy my book here.
PPS - in case you missed last week’s letter on completing the Chiang Rai half marathon:
